THE NEW NEW STRATEGY ON THE OLD OLD DOPE GAME

And young man, Izzy the candy-store owner asked,
what can I do for you today?

I'd like, (my eyes were salivating,
watering the treats below them), I'd like,
let's see, hmmm, a few packs of M&M's,
nuts please, 10 Bazooka Joe's,...
& 2 bags of Dr. Death...

Harry, please, I can't,
your father would kill...

Don't be an idiot, Iz.
I got 500 here. Cash.

That's on top of the candy?

Of course--you old gonif.

It's 20 for the M&M's,
20 for the Bazooka Joe's,
& 50 cents for the good Doctor...

What's with the 50 cents?

Labor--somebody's got to put it in the bag, no?
And Harry, it's strong--don't forget
take the gum out of your mouth before...

Yeah, yeah, OK.

Izzy went to the back & returned with the doctor;
a picture of Marcus Welby on the bag.

Thanks, Iz.

Don't forget to say hello to your folks.

Iz, please...

Norman Savage
Greenwich Village, 2020

THE BRAND SPANKING NEW STRATEGY FOR THE CRANKY OLD DOPE GAME

Yes, young man, what can I do for you?
the candy store owner asked the bright-eyed boy.

I'd like, let's see--
(his eyes were salivating)
--a few packs of those M&M's,
10 Bazooka Joe's,
& 2 bags of Dr. Death.

OK son, that's going to be 20 dollars for the M&M's,
10 for the Bazooka Joe's,
& 50 cents for the good Dr.

The boy fished out the bills,
counted them off
& forked them over.

Now remember son,
take the gum
out yer mouth
before you honk-up
the Dr. Death.

I will, Mr. Fishbein, see ya.

See ya, Harry, and say hello
to your parents for me and
that cute little sister of yours.

Mr. Fishbein was a perv,
but he always had the goods.

Norman Savage
Greenwich Village, 2018