SELFISH

I'm want to be selfish tonight,
she informed me,
before I had a chance
to light a joint.
Selfish, huh,
I replied,
fumbling with a bag of reefer
& rolling papers.
Selfish,
what does that mean?
It means stop rolling that shit
& pay attention; it means
I want to be violated
& abused & punctured
& ripped up! It means
I want to be taken
& spent; it means
I want to forget
why I'm here.

She was true to her word.
When we finished
I blew away
like a feckless leaf
in a sultry wind.

Norman Savage
Greenwich Village, 2019

IT'S A DRAG

to discover
what you're sure
is so
is so
wrong.
Brilliance
is never
so dull
as when
it shines
only upon
oneself
and all those
made-up
places.
Against
no light
it remains
black &
unenlightened.

Take dreams
for instance.
Mel Brooks
& Roman Polanski,
Woody Allen
& Ingmar Bergman
had dreams.
They also
had years
of analysis.
They also
read; they also
were genius'.
They knew dreams
had a navel
& knew
how to navigate
towards it.

It's dangerous
to go on belief
only in self
knowledge
especially
when there's nothing
tangible to hang
your hook on.
It's alright to suffer
alone,
but it's not alright
to inflict that suffering
on others
who love you.
It is one reason
the world is so full
of sadness.

I'm a teacher
by nature.
And a good one,
I believe.
I'm not, however,
an altruist.
I do have
selfish interests.
I'm most possessive
about you
& how you go about
the business
of living.
Yes, by all means
sound your depths;
and, yes, by all means
go down into it,
even if that implies
making mistakes.
I have to trust
that enough
of those mistakes
will lead you back
to me.

Norman Savage
Greenwich Village, 2015

SO STUPID IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE

There was Seymour
and now Robin. Before
those two gents
there was David,
Ernie, Sylvia, Anne,
John & John and,
I'm sure other
John's; & please
don't forget Vinny,
Dino, Marilyn, Amy,
and many lost fools,
like myself, who couldn't
find their way home
with a map.

It has always been
a hard life; work,
love, bread, adulation,
has little to do
with it; it's just
fucking hard.
You can turn over
the rocks & discover
a new enzyme, a new hormone,
a new molecule, insanities
lurking around the corners
of your birth, teachers
with bad breath & dandruff,
mustard sandwiches & Draino chasers,
and would be no closer in discerning
the link and linkages
of how you view yourself
or the world.

Tonight,
if you're not knotting
a rope or loading a shotgun,
if you're not shivering
in your closet more afraid
of the light than the dark;
if there's a pop tart
or a pancake or a cup
of black coffee for
tomorrow morning or
a slice of almost green bologna
for tonight's fare...
that is enough, it is enough
to turn on your radio
& blast yourself away
& into a space
that gives you space
and that will be
good enough--it has
to be.

Norman Savage
Greenwich Village, 2014